By Gary Pig Gold

Maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s CNN overload …maybe it’s just "the time of man" (or the death of my quiet Beatle), but I’ve been stuck to the web even more than usual lately.

So you know, I thought I’d try to make myself quite useful for a change, and conduct a little Ear Candy Poll by asking the much-more-relevant-than-ever musical question,


I think you’ll get a real "ho!" out of what my virtual friends had to say:

"I'd rather listen to the Beach Boys this Christmas because eggnog sucks."
(John M. Borack, Popdude)

"The reason I would rather listen to the Beach Boys this Christmas is because it beats hearing that crappy muzak they play in the malls. By FAR, I should add! And they're tons better than Kenny G too."
(Beverly Paterson, "Twist And Shake" Magazine)

"Because I live in Syracuse, and it's gonna fucking SNOW until July. I'd rather be surfing!"
(Carl Cafarelli, "This Is Rock n Roll Radio")

"Because two of my favorite bands, the Dukes of Stratosphear and the Pretty Things, have absorbed Beach Boy influences into their music."
(Tina Max, "Noise" Magazine)

"Because KISS didn't use any sleigh bells on their new release."
(Pat Meusel, Sony Music Nashville)

"Because I like the Beach Boys a whole lot better than eggnog!"
(David Bash, fellow eggnog-disparager)

"The question does not say rather than WHAT. Do you mean rather than Christmas songs or rather than ANYTHING?"
(Lach, anti-folk singer extrordinaire)

"See, because for me, Christmas shopping this year took place at Juanita's Taco Shop after surfing on Christmas eve (morning) at Terra Mar cove. Maybe those not raised in Los Angeles would find this hard to understand, but "Little Saint Nick" can bring you closer to it. It’s either the Beach Boys Christmas album, or the ones by James Brown or Uncle Phil. Because Christmas doesn't necessarily have to be white." Hang Ten,
(Domenic Priore, author of “Look! Listen! Vibrate! SMILE!”)

“I have no thoughts...”
(David Leaf, esteemed Beach Boys biographer)

“Cuz they're BEECHIN !!!!!!!!!!”
(Phil Kaufman, “Road Mangler Deluxe”)

“i'd rather listen to dick dale.”
(Dick Dale, King of the Surf Guitar)

“I’D rather listen to the Beach Boys!”
(Cheepskate Shane Faubert)

“Because the Kenny Rogers Christmas album makes me want to buy a machine gun, and that's not as good a feeling as "Little Saint Nick" or "Do It Again."
(David Ribyat of Tennessee Tuxedo)

“I can play along with them on my piano inside the giant sandbox.”
(Elizabeth Walsh, also of TN Tux)

“Waves, waves, and …oh yeah: Waves!”

“Because their unreleased 1970s Christmas album set a standard of excellence within the genre, alongside Christmas efforts by the Kingston Trio, Temptations and Phil Spector. Now, if only they'd do a few more songs that emphasized the CHRIST in Christmas...”
(Mike McDowell, “Blitz” Magazine)

“Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. And that includes The Beach Boys, so I'll probably skip them again this year.”
(Gary Topp, the first man to ever book the Ramones outside of the Bowery) (and live to tell)

“I'd rather be listening to the Beach Boys this Christmas because, as was the case these last 33 years, there is no other feasible alternative to get closer to heaven.”
(Kerneels Breytenbach, General Manager, Human & Rousseau Publishers, Cape Town, South Africa)

“I'll be listening to the Beach Boys this Christmas because every year the sound of Phil Spector's voice on A CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR YOU messes me up so badly that I need a dose of close harmony to save the day.”
(John J. Pinto, “The Pig Paper”)

“The only reason I would rather listen to the Beach Boys this Christmas would be if I lived in Kentucky.”
(the ever-cryptic Don Preston, original Mother of Invention)

“This year the Beach Boys’ new ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS disc is available. This CD includes the original BEACH BOYS CHRISTMAS ALBUM plus many great songs from their unreleased 1977 album plus some other unreleased songs which are really worth listening too. Without a doubt my favorite Christmas album!”
(Tom Brady, electrician, Lindenhurst, New York)

“Christmas in California is rarely depicted on Hallmark cards. With the weather often sunny and in the 80's, the only hint of a seasonal change is the shortened daylight hours. For years I have tried to recreate the Rockwellian holidays of my childhood for my own little boy, only to be reminded by stepping outdoors that it was impossible. At seven years old, he's never even seen snow up close. But one thing has been a constant in our family for many years, and that is the soothing harmonies of Beach Boys' Christmas songs playing throughout our home. This last year, my BEACH BOYS CHRISTMAS cassette went missing. I didn't think much of it, until my son began to cry, begging me to buy a new one. "It's just not Christmas without the Little Saint Nick song!" he wailed. It was then that I began to appreciate the uniqueness of our California Christmas, and was reminded that it is our own traditions and memories we make -- the "spirit" of the season -- that matters most. Oh yeah, I DID get another Beach Boys cassette. And Jeffrey Foskett's CHRISTMAS AT THE BEACH as well. Who needs snow?”
(Sherri Ann Skanes, educator, Ventura, California)

“Q. Why would I rather listen to the Beach Boys this Xmas? A. Because I'd rather find a surfer girl under my tree, not Alanis Morissette.”
(Mark Keating, “Sound Views” Magazine)

“Few would argue that along with ELVIS’ CHRISTMAS ALBUM and Phil Spector’s A CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR YOU, THE BEACH BOYS CHRISTMAS ALBUM is certainly one of the quintessential holiday albums of the rock era. On that album you not only get five great original -- and timeless -- Brian Wilson melodies, but a rare glimpse at an era when the “down to Earth” Beach Boys Sound dominated the music charts. I can still picture Brian, in his bright shiny ’64 Grand Prix, cruising down Hawthorne Boulevard and pulling into the Foster’s Freeze while he hums an idea for a new song. That song, “Little Saint Nick,” would fascinate us through the 1963 Christmas season, and continues to delight us all these years later. To “update” my legendary introduction from the BEACH BOYS CONCERT album: And now, from Hawthorne California, to entertain you tonight on a CD player near you, let’s have some “fun, fun, fun” with the fabulous Beach Boys and the ULTIMATE Christmas album! ”
(Fred Vail, former manager, and first concert producer, of The Beach Boys)

“You can have your Celines and Babs and Mariahs …just gimme my Boys!”
(Ron, aka Porky Pig, Windy City, USA)

“Because their music represents all the hopes and companionship of the Festive Season, and because Brian and the group’s vocals are some of the best ever recorded.”
(Andrew Gladwin, actuary and part-time Beach Boy website owner, Harare, Zimbabwe)

“Couldn’t have said it better myself! Merry Christmas, everybody”
(Santa Pig)

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